I am trying to teach myself to never blame someone else for something that goes wrong in our relationship.

The lesson is, if something goes wrong; and it should be fixed, by the other person, it would probably never be fixed. If it creates consternation on my part, because “it is his fault”, the chances are very good, it will never be fixed. Ever!

The other person may think it is “my problem.” If the person is also into the “blame game;” it could fester for a long time.

I recently purchased something requiring a contract signed by me. I readied the deposit check, signed it and the contract and called the salesperson to pick it up.

When he reviewed it, he said there was minor change which he made, and then he had me initial the change. When I handed it back, initialed, I said, “You may want to check this multiple page contract over while you are here in case I missed something”, which he did, and then he left.

“The next day I reviewed the following email; “You did not sign the pages on the agreement in the packet which I picked up. I did not realize this until this morning.”

If that sale was fragile, or I was uncertain it would have come unhooked when I read his blame sentence. He was the last person to handle it; he reviewed it and then blamed me for his carelessness.

My inclination was anger, but, in my quest to never be angry again, I sent him an email and told him to simply bring the contract by and show me where to sign it.

My quest should always be to complete the task at hand and never to attach blame or anger, as he demonstrated. When one starts blaming someone else for their mistakes, there is no end to the blame, even if it is not warranted. My objective should be, fix it, or have it fixed, without the drama of blame.